You may say: “well, I never cared about what’s popular anyways.” Not so fast. Fashion trends affect us all. Whether we like it or not, they define, or at the very least strongly influence, our perception of beauty. Just think, what looked good in the 80s or 90s, looks incredibly awkward now

(Here’s an 80’s wedding dress flashback to refresh your memory).

Oh, those puffed shoulders!

In the era of the strapless wedding gown, tznius wedding dresses often looked top-heavy and somehow less elegant. It was significantly more difficult for a frum bride to alter a non-tznius dress without significantly decreasing its appeal. Recent trends in wedding gowns, however, make building up a non-tznius dress a lot easier. Not only because higher necklines such as the jewel, the bateau, the v-neck are coming in, but also because the fabrics are changing as well. More of the wedding dress is made from tulle and lace.  Using these fabrics, designers are adding more airiness and lightness to their wedding gowns.  3-d appliqués and feather adornments over the tulle that are in style further accentuate the airiness of the fabric.

Gown by Israeli Designer Chana Marelus

The lighter fabrics work better with gowns that cover arms and shoulders and make them more pleasing to the eye. Tznius gowns look as elegant and as stylish as the non-tznius ones. Many dresses that are sold in regular bridal stores are easily made tznius by adding sleeves without any additional adjustments. On the downside, large princess ball gowns, which our kallahs like so much, are less common as a result, but that’s a trend we’re prepared to accept. A-lines, sheath, and mermaid (the latter ranking lower on the tznius spectrum) silhouettes are more common.

Perla gown by BHLDN – $1,800

Mary by Illume Gowns

Beaded Lace Gown by Oleg Cassini – $1,250

Gown by Chana Marelus

Trends will surely swing back, but for now let us appreciate the additional options available to the frum bride.

Photo by Zalmy B

Wedding photography has changed over the past number of years. This is true for the wedding world at large as well as the frum wedding world. Not in such distant past, the wedding photography industry was run by a relatively small number of full service wedding studios. These were professionally run businesses with a rotating team of photographers and a team of in-studio personnel who took care of logistics, proofs, albums, etc. But a couple could not always be certain which photographer will be there to capture their most important day. So new photographers appeared on the scene. The new photographers were a one man show – they had  their own unique style, their commitment to creativity, and if a couple was captivated by the photographer’s images, they knew who and what they were getting.

Photo by Three Star Photography

At about this time the focus of wedding photos shifted from formal portraits to photojournalistic, in-the-moment candids. Couples wanted photographers to document the euphoria, the frenzy, the joy, the excitement, in other words all the emotion of this so completely emotion-drenched event. The relationship between the couple and their photographer became much more personal.

These photographers are also social media savvy, which means that a couple’s wedding pictures are likely to hit the photographers’ Facebook pages, Instagram feeds, Pinterest boards or their personal blogs. For many couples this is an added bonus so to speak, a way to share their greatest joy with their friends, and perhaps a chance to show off a little (after all they just spent the last couple of months making sure that everything about this wedding is just perfect!). For others this was a nuisance. Many frum couples would rather not share the images from their wedding with the world. But this is not a big deal. Photographers in the frum world understand this, and will accommodate if requested.

The problems that many couples and families do experience is in post production. The one-man-(or one-woman)-show photographer does not usually have back office staff to deal with clients regarding their albums, portraits, or whatever post wedding issues the families might have. He or she are responsible for shooting the event (which means getting home most nights at 2 AM), for uploading the images to the computer, retouching them (which is hours and hours of work), organizing them, communicating with their clients, designing the albums, dealing with printing studios, etc etc etc. And so we hear many complaints from married couples with children who are still chasing after their very creative photographer, who did an amazing job at the wedding, but has since disappeared, and has yet to provide the wedding album. Many go as far as accusing the photographer of being a liar and a ganef, when in reality the guy is just overwhelmed, way over extended, and just doesn’t know who to deal with first.

How does one prevent this scenario? There are two things you must do: you must communicate with your photographer as much as you can. Before committing to a photographer, inquire about his or her process of album making – who does it? how long does it take? Secondly, even though many photographers ask for all the money up front (and they do this with good reason – they have to pay the printer and the binder in advance), you, as a client, have to make sure that a portion of the bill is only paid upon delivery of the albums. How to break it down will often vary, but 50% up front, 25% after delivery of proofs and the rest after albums is not unreasonable. Many photographers themselves offer similar terms.

Overall, the changes in the wedding photography industry have worked out to the couples’ benefit – they have more options, greater ability to find the photographer that matches their style. But as with any progress, there are always some growing pains. The best that you can do is be an educated consumer.

{Note: The beautiful images used in this post are there for visual enhancement only, and have no relation to the content.}

{Perhaps it is necessary to point out the obvious. This survey is in no way scientific. It is an open, voluntary survey of visitors of this website. We don’t know much about the respondents nor about the truthfulness of their responses. Still the results are certainly interesting and worth a discussion.}

Let’s begin with end, with the last question of the survey: “How much did your wedding cost?”

There were 7 possible categories to choose from: from below $15,000 to above $75,000. Interestingly enough, the two categories that got the most responses were these two extremes. Almost 26% – more than 1 in 4 – of respondents kept their wedding costs down to below $15,000 and almost 20% shelled out more than $75,000.

Do you think $15,000 gives too broad of a range? Is it that easy to pull off a Jewish wedding for under 15 grand? We certainly didn’t think so when we drafted the survey and don’t think so still. Between the hall, catering, music, flowers, photography, videography etc. it seems nearly impossible to put together a wedding under $15,000. But, to our great surprise, more than a quarter of the survey participants managed it. What do you think?

The smallest response was given to the $65,000-$75,000 range. Could that indicate that if one spends one really spends? Perhaps. Although, with more kallahs filling out the survey, things may even out.

Now let us take a look at the survey’s first question: “Did you budget plan for your wedding?”

Yes, we know proper English would be: “Did you set a budget for your wedding?” But we felt that this version was more appropriate, more closely descriptive of the process of trying to set a budget for something that really requires professional and experienced planners. Whilst most people sort of learn the trade of figuring out the various options and their costs as they go along not unpleasantly overwhelmed.

As you can see from the chart, almost half the survey participants took their budget quite seriously. Only 20% of respondents did not set a budget at all. Wait, are those the same 20% with wedding costs exceeding the $75,000 mark?

In the next question the survey wants to know: “How successful were you in setting a budget?”

Here again 26% answered – making it the most frequent response – that they managed to fit into their budget. Whoever heard of fitting into a wedding budget??? Who are these people? Wait, are these the same 26% that managed to pull of a whole wedding under $15,000? Hmm, there does seem to be a pattern of sorts.

This next question is a personal favorite: “The price tag of which wedding service surprise you the most?”

I was rooting for photography, but it only came in third. The winner is “Flowers”, with almost 32% percent of people surprised by the cost of wedding florals. Isn’t it a wonder that one can get a beautiful, large bouquet for about $50, but if it’s a bridal bouquet, well that’s $150-$250?

Many (almost 28%) were also surprised by the price tag of food. It’s generally the biggest of all wedding expenses. Prices for catering (which sometimes include the venue and sometimes are in addition to the cost of the wedding hall) can range from $25 per person to $200 per person. The total cost here is dependent, in large, on the amount of guests you are expecting at your affair. To set table at a large frum wedding with 500 guests or more even at $50 per person adds up to a hefty $25,000.

Now we wanted to know if you think your wedding is costing too much. Duh, of course it is! Well, as you can see from the chart below, about 12% of people answered that they kept wedding costs to a minimum. Most respondents, however, indicated that their wedding expenses are high – some are just more OK with it than others; after all it is a wedding!

The second half of the survey we shall discuss in Part 2 of this article. Stay tuned, but add your two cents to the topic of wedding costs in the comments.

Take a look:

Less common, but nevertheless not unusual, is the FLOPS option, where the chosson’s side also takes care of the Sheitel for the kallah.

If you decided to use FLOP, get this simple FLOP wedding checklist. If you are still not decided on how to split the expenses, read these notes on splitting your wedding costs. If you already made up your mind, feel free to speak it below, in the comments!

image by M.Kruter

All eyes are on the bride during the wedding, but a bridal gown is more than just an outfit that the bride wears for a day; it becomes a part of the memories of one of the most special days in a couple’s life.

The first decision a bride and her family will have to make is their budget. While brides often end up going over their budget when they find a dress that suits them perfectly, it is still helpful to begin the search with at least some sort of budget in mind.

The price tag of a wedding dress may vary greatly. At Bridal Secrets of Cedarhurst – a popular destination for wedding gown shopping, dresses range from $599 – $2,500 and up. Many brides spend upwards of these amounts.

Ruth Jankowitz of Beauty and Beyond in Baltimore on the other hand, suggests spending as little as possible on the wedding dress since it will most likely be only worn once.

Another option that brides have is renting a wedding dress. Although it is tempting to buy a dress and keep it for the memories, it is not necessarily the most prudent decision. Rebecca, a recent bride we spoke to, encourages brides to rent a dress instead of purchasing one. “You don’t need it as a keepsake,” she said. “You have a million other wedding memories.”

Once a bride establishes her budget and decides whether to rent or to buy, the next step is to actually select a dress. One of the decisions the bride will have to make then is how much to follow the current trends. While it may be tempting to wear a gown that fits the current trends, it is important to also consider how a certain style will look a few years from now in wedding photos. Fortunately, selecting a gown that is both trendy and classic does not have to be a contradiction with the continued popularity of styles such as eye-catching ball gowns, regal A-line princess gowns, and vintage-looking slim gowns made of or embellished by lace.

image by SimchaVision

Brides are also finding ways of combining the classic and the trendy. Miriam, one of the brides we spoke to about the experience of selecting a wedding gown, bought one that she described as classic but with a “modern twist” which was added by its high collar.

“The bride’s choice of gown always projects her image on the day of her wedding,” – says Joy Lieber of Bridal Secrets – “That may be influenced by her age, her body type and her self confidence. She may want to look Sophisticated, Demure, Whimsical or Fashion Forward.”

Ultimately, choosing the wedding gown is up to the bride and should therefore reflect her own tastes and preferences instead of simply being an expression of the current trends.

{Stay tuned for Part 2 where we will discuss some of the current trends in more detail.}

Flowers die, and food spoils, invitations are thrown away and sometimes used as a great substitute dustpan, but pictures can last forever. I didn’t care much about the minute details of my wedding. All I wanted was gorgeous pictures, because pictures would be all I would have to remember my wedding day by.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get that. The photographer my in-laws hired, had done a beautiful job on a previous family wedding, but for my wedding they sent a crew member, not the head photographer – and he had no idea what he was doing. He was unenthusiastic (he didn’t even bother to ask my name, or anyone in the wedding party’s name), a little creepy, and had no imagination for posing. I actually told him to stop posing me (or whatever he was attempting to do) and I did my own thing. He got all excited and was like “Wow, this is great, like out of a bridal magazine” and I was thinking, what the heck, you’re a wedding photographer, you should know such posing cold!!

I also wanted a lot of candid shots to capture the essence of the wedding, I’m not so into stoic family portraits… didn’t get that either… It’s a good thing I looked that good by my wedding so a total fiasco was slightly averted.

I had several other issues with my pictures, and after a year of marriage I still have not selected photos for my official album, simply because I hate looking at my wedding pictures. When I got my proofs a month after blissful marital utopia (ye, it took that long to get them)  I had full-blown meltdown on my husband, his first time experiencing me sobbing uncontrollably… fun stuff to put it mildly. It’s a sad cautionary tale. The one thing I wanted for my wedding I didn’t get, but at least I can pass on a few tips for looking into photographers.

1. Know what type of pictures you want – artistic, classic, candid shots, and the like.
2. Ask for recommendation, look at other people’s proofs, note what you like and don’t like.
3. If there are certain pictures or poses you want taken , make a list so you don’t forget. (make that list even if you remember EVERYTHING)
4. Make sure you know which photographer you will be getting if there is a crew of photographers.
5. Know what’s included in your “package”: how many  hours of photography, what format you’ll receive the proofs in, how many photos allotted in the master album (photographers rake it in this area, so know what you’re getting for how much.
6. If you’re not comfortable with the photographer by the actual affair, pause a moment, evaluate what’s not going right and try to rectify the situation, talk to the photographer, don’t just let it pass by (like I did).

Here’s to you only reading this tale and never experiencing it. MAZAL TOV.

Photo credit: DeusXFlorida

In case you’re experiencing the symptoms related by this courageous woman, consult your Ob Gyn-NY, Ob Gyn-NJ. In Long Island, The Women’s Therapy Center deals specifically with these issues.

Below you will find some books which will guide you through your engagement, answer a variety of halachic questions and help you be prepared for your wedding and thereafter.

1. Made In Heaven

A Jewish Wedding Guide by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan

Inside you will find very well organized and detailed descriptions and explanations of laws, traditions and customs between the engagement and until after the chuppah. The author brings multiple opinions and sources and discusses varying traditions in different communities. There’s also plenty of practical advice and suggestions for the preparations and the arrangement of the wedding.
Hardcover: 234 pages
Publisher: Moznaim Pub Corp
ISBN-10: 0940118114
ISBN-13: 978-0940118119
Buy at: Amazon | Eichlers | Judaism.com

2. Choson and Kallah during their Engagement

by Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk

This book concentrates mostly on the laws of tznius, yichud, negiah, and proper behavior during the engagement period and looks for solutions in questionable situations. This comprehensive work discusses all the practical applications of the halachos, in a clear and sensitive way.
Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: Feldheim
ISBN-10: 1583304711
ISBN-13: 978-1583304716
Buy at: Amazon | Eichlers | Feldheim | Judaism.com

3. The First Year of Marriage

Enhancing the Success of Your Marriage Right from the Start – And Even Before It Begins by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski

Shanah Rishonah is a very important period in the lives of newlyweds. The first year builds the future family’s foundation. It’s like a mold that can be shaped, fixed and reshaped while it’s still fresh. As soon as it dries up, any changes to it are more difficult. In this book, Rabbi Twerski explains at the outset that every couple needs to understand the mechanisms of adjustment and change; that they must be aware of the differences in their upbringings and expectations. These life experiences are neither “right” nor “wrong,” but require honest discussion as the marriage takes root and differences surface. Rabbi Twerski’s insightful portrayals of everyday situations will make you say, “That’s us! How did he know?” He knows because he has counseled thousands of people and he knows the value of advance awareness and solid advice. This is a book that should be read by engaged couples, newly married couples, and their parents.
Hardcover: 211 pages
Publisher: Mesorah Pubns Ltd
ISBN-10: 1578194326
ISBN-13: 978-1578194322
Buy at: Amazon | Artscroll | Eichlers | Judaism.com

4. Head to Heart

What to Know Before Dating and Marriage by Gila Manolson

This book should preferably be read before you start dating, but it’s not too late to read even after you got married. The book goes over many topics where you have to find a distinct view on what you want to achieve by becoming a partner in life with someone else. It reminds you that before expecting the other person to change to fit you better, it’s you who should change first. This is a guidebook with checklists, a manual that looks at dating, love, and marriage from a Torah perspective and comes up with some surprising, and important, conclusions.
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Targum
ISBN-10: 1568719973
ISBN-13: 978-1568719979
Buy at: Amazon | Eichlers | Feldheim | Judaism.com

5. Two Halves of a Whole

Torah Guidelines for Marriage by Tehilla Abramov and Rabbi Yirmiyohu Abramov

Written by the author of The Secret of Jewish Femininity, and her husband, a rabbi and noted educator, Two Halves of a Whole aims to help couples understand each other better and promote shalom bayis (marital harmony).  It provides insightful and down-to-earth Torah guidelines for enhancing one’s marriage based on the authors’ years of experience teaching and counseling engaged and married couples. This book is especially unique in that it takes into account that shalom bayis is made by two people and is written for both husband and wife. The first section for wives, presented by a woman for women, and the second from a man to the men.
Hardcover: 210 pages
Publisher: Targum
ISBN-10: 1568710682
ISBN-13: 978-1568710686
Buy at: Amazon | Eichlers | Judaism.com

6a. The Garden of Peace

A Marital Guide for Men Only by Rabbi Shalom Arush

This is the English-language version of B’Gan HaShalom, a book that has become an overnight best-seller in Israel. A priceless guide that will transform your marriage! Rabbi Arush’s reputation precedes him and many are familiar with his other inspirational books.  In the Garden of Peace you’re invited to take a stroll through a delightful and refreshing garden, where tranquil thoughts, soothing words, and brilliant insights abound. This eye-opening book, written for men only, is the first of its kind. Direct, honest, down-to-earth, and practical, it describes the true path to peace between a husband and wife. This is an amazingly enjoyable and practical guidebook for men that want to be winning husbands.
Paperback: 348 pages
Publisher: Diamond Press
ISBN-10: 5495321065
ISBN-13: 978-5495321069
Buy at: Amazon | Eichlers | Feldheim | Judaism.com

6b. Women’s Wisdom

The Garden of Peace for Women by Rabbi Shalom Arush

Women’s Wisdom is the long-awaited sequel to the Garden of Peace, now written for the woman of the household. It will show you how to create and preserve a happy, healthy marriage. How can a woman build up her marriage so that it is one of peace and tranquility? What is the real meaning of love? What is the role of the wife in the home? Not only does this book present a beautiful, time-tested perspective on marriage, it also offers wisdom and insight on parenting, prayer, and motherhood. A vital read for every Jewish woman!
Paperback: 414 pages
Publisher: Chut Shel Chesed Institutions
ASIN: B003EW0OF2
Buy at: Amazon | Eichlers | Feldheim | Judaism.com

7. A Woman’s Guide to the Laws of Niddah

by Rabbi Binyomin Forst

This is a complete nidah encyclopedia. This book covers laws, customs, traditions and multiple opinions on various nidah topics. It’s very organized and is optimized for common use, when one needs to quickly look up a specific question or need to clarify how to do things right. Kallos will find valuable advice and answers for many questions in the special Kallah section. Kallah teachers choose this book as a single complete guide for teaching. It is complete, yet not too technical, so that one will not be overwhelmed by the material. It is authoritative, but does not claim to replace a competent Rav. It will remove unnecessary doubt and insecurity from countless delicate family situations, and let conscientious people know what to do, when to do it, and how to ask questions.
Hardcover: 373 pages
Publisher: Mesorah Publications Ltd (Artscroll)
ISBN-10: 1578191386
ISBN-13: 978-1578191383

Buy at: Amazon | Artscroll | Eichlers

Thankfully, there’s precedent to lean on; there is in each community an accepted (more or less) custom about splitting the costs. In the ‘frum’ circles the FLOP method with its ill-fitted name divides the expenses between the sides, like countries on a map, along the borders of the various wedding services. (Check out our FLOP wedding checklist.) As such the bride’s side pays for the food and the hall, while the groom’s covers the Flowers, Liquor, Orchestra, and Photography (Video). It’s not exactly 50/50, but the ‘FLOP’ can often cost almost as much as the catering / hall. Depending on the size of the wedding band and the self professed creativity of the photographer and the cinematographer a.k.a. the video guy, the groom’s side can easily ‘outdo’ the bride’s in wedding contributions.

Here lies the secret benefit of the FLOP method. Let me explain this way: Say you’re building the Mishkan, a temple, a synagogue or any other lofty undertaking that consists of multiple elements and parts. You’ll need a building, an altar, chairs, tables, chandeliers, other decorations, and many other miscellaneous items. You can go about getting these things together in two ways: You can have all your congregants, members chip in some set amount in funds and then go out and purchase the items needed, or you can have your members and congregants donate or sponsor a particular element of the undertaking. FLOP resembles the latter approach, where each side takes upon itself to see that the wedding elements that are of their contribution will be done right. This often can lead to a ‘catching up with the Joneses’ phenomenon where each side will make sure not to be outdone by the other, thus improving the quality of the overall affair. (This in itself may not always be of benefit to everyone; but the method in general splits up not only the financial responsibilities of the wedding but the actual planning, ordering and making sure that its done right as well.) There could also potentially be another benefit: if one of the families is not as liquid in their financial resources, they may substitute their creative, networking (i.e. they know someone in the business) and bargaining resources and as such contribute their ‘share’ of high quality wedding elements without having to bear a financial burden that is more than they can carry.

Sometimes FLOP splits the wrong way. To some a wedding is best described as the only opportunity a girl gets to take pictures in a wedding gown in full make up. And as such, would rather serve chicken with cranberry sauce (or sandwiches for that matter) at the reception and spend the rest of the wedding funds on the best of glamour photography. According to FLOP, however, the bride’s side deals only with food and venue. That’s not to say that these rules of wedding financial conduct are written in stone, and if a one side is very particular about one wedding ingredient over another that the families will not be able to modify the FLOP according to their needs.

I don’t have any statistics on this, but I do wonder how many families within the kosher wedding world select the 50/50 method and how many go for the FLOP, or any other approach to sharing the wedding costs. The contemporary mind certainly finds the 50/50 split appealing for its clear-cut simplicity and indubitable fairness.  It also allows both sides to participate equally in the wedding planning process and may foster an opportunity for family bonding (also, and unfortunately, vice-versa) in the process. Coming from not such traditional circles, when I got married, we cut all the expenses right down the middle, without ever really exploring any other options. I would be delighted to hear your take on these methods of dealing with wedding costs or on other ways to approach the subject.

Every bride wants her wedding to be a symphony of perfection, a day that rises high above the ordinary. Needless to say that the bride is the epicenter of this symphony, the ‘first violin’. Extraordinary begins with her: her gown, her make up, hair, and jewelry – all radiate, as if her beauty spills over onto all the other elements of the wedding. When it comes to jewelry, not every gal has a $25,000 necklace stashed away just for these sort of occasions. So here, there are a couple of options. You may have some family jewels that gets passed around. Your soon to be husband may ‘surprise’ you with some ‘pearls of wisdom’ after the chuppah. If you’re waiting until after the chuppah to sparkle, then in most of your portraits (which are ttaken before the ceremony) there’s something missing around the neck area. And what about the other beautiful ladies at your wedding, the sisters, bridesmaids, the mothers, they also would like to dazzle at these somewhat rare and glamourous occasions. The additional jewelry choices are costume jewelry and something more recent – jewelry rental. The fact of the matter is that most women wear costume jewelry on these not so frequent evenings when only the high-fashion jewelry will do. (In fact, many women who go the extra to strut real diamonds, are often assumed to be wearing imitations.) But for those who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing fakes, a new company that’s making headlines, Adorn Brides – a Diamond Jewelry Rental, can offer very real brilliance for the occasion and only for the occasion. The selection, it seems to me, is a bit limited, but it’s growing and hey it’s the real thing. Here are some items in the collection:

Lockwood Necklace: Retail purchase price – $24,000; rental price – $490.

Spencer Necklace: Retail purchase price – $9,800; rental price – $290.

The rental prices are not cheap, to say the least. (Then again if you were to rent a professional camera which retails for about $5,000, you’d pay $300 per day; a car on the other hand that retails $20,000 and up can be rented for $50 per day. Math isn’t exactly my forte, but somehow I get the feeling that these numbers follow a different rules of logic.)

Here are some images of other items in the Adorn collection:

The other alternative – bridal costume jewelry, a.k.a. the fakes, can be purchased for keeps for less than the rental price of the real thing. For example:

This Silver zircon & crystal drop necklace by Tejani can be purchased for $285. (I’ve no idea what this looks like in real life; there are plenty of people who’d spot a fake from a mile away.)

So the wedding jewels dilemma: Get the real thing, even if it’s only for the evening, or go for the shiny, sparkly fakes. Which camp are you in?

This is just one example of the numerous misleading wedding advice that abounds the wedding blogosphere. The other type, and this one is in the majority, is the useless and unnecessary one. Have you come across an article or a blog-post and just thought: “DUH!” (Just recently I stumbled upon an article that strongly suggested using place-cards in order to help guests find their seats… Wow, isn’t that innovative?) It is true that some of the basic and general advice out there that can seem ‘pashut‘ to the savvy bride is in fact helpful to the many others. Anyways, we here at ChossonKallah.com try provide with accurate and relevant information to help you get the best for your wedding festivities; however, if occasionally you know something we don’t – let us hear about it.

Some prefer for the cloth on top of the poles to drape over the sides to serve as mini-walls in this symbolic house just like in a real one. Most of these details, however, are preferences and do not disqualify the Chuppah ceremony.

The Sephardic practice to have the Chuppah inside stems from the fact that in their understanding a Chuppah is not a house at all but rather a garment, a cloth with which the groom clothes his new wife displaying his newly acquired responsibilities to provide for his wife. This cloth also symbolizes Divine light that surrounds the new couple as it is said: ‘He wraps Himself in light as with a garment’ (Psalms 104:2).

There was a beautiful and quite interesting tradition in the city of Betar (before it was so violently destroyed by the Romans after the revolt of Bar Kochba) that when a child was born trees would be planted which would later be used as poles for the Chuppah on his wedding day. (Made in Heaven, pg 143 note 49) The symbolism here is somewhat perplexing. Perhaps it has something to do with the concept of Bashert, i.e. the Talmud says that 40 days prior to the formation of the child in his mothers womb his destiny is decreed from above. One of the things that are mentioned there as being predecreed is the person’s spouse. Perhaps the trees showed the connection between birth and matrimony.

There are many deeper, more sublime ideas represented by the Chuppah and these are for the Kabbalists to ponder. What’s important for us is to absorb the rare (once in alifetime) moment of standing wrapped up within these ideas, within these symbols.

The great things about symbols is that they stretch with the ability of people to appreciate them.  Aesthetics are of value only in the eyes of humans who are able to perceive the hinted within the revealed. Regardless of the physical attributes of your Chuppah, the decorations or the lack of them, you have the power to fill it up, to wrap it up with the abstract ideas, with the symbolism that are actually more real and more important than fibers and the metal.

Photo by Creagency

We will soon feature here on JewishWeddingInfo real stories from real people about their real weddings. We’ll need some of you newlyweds to give us a hand. That’s right, and we want to see some pictures too. Do you think your wedding, the wedding you so meticulously planned, has got some shareable moments and ideas, please email us ( team@chossonandkallah.com ) and we’ll work together to put a little spotlight on your wedding and share it with our site’s visitors in an informative and elegant way.

You know that as you were planning your wedding, seeing what worked for other brides enlightened you and gave you ideas as well. Now you can be a resource for some other Jewish bride looking forward to her big day.

We’d also like to know:

1. Wedding Venue
2. Caterer
3. Florist
4. Photographer / Videographer
5. Musician
6. Jeweler
7. Dressmaker
8. Any other vendor that helped you achieve wedding day success.

So don’t be shy (your pics are on OnlySimchas already anyways) and contact us and become a featured wedding on ChossonKallah.com and JewishWeddingInfo.

Most successful Sheva Brachos parties are planned well in advance. Think of the Sheva Brachos party as a miniature wedding or a bar mitzvah. Consider every detail. The following are some items you will want to go over well before the night of your next Sheva Brachos party.

• Select a Theme – Yes, we know many of you think themes are just so corny, but it’s a simple way of having all the elements at your party come together. It’s just like matching a top to a skirt – they have to work together. You don”t have to have an actual theme. Do think of the total effect of your party; consider colors (vibrant and vivid vs natural and pastels), shapes, moods (humorous or upbeat or romantic), objects, and styles (modern, contemporary simplicity with sharp angles vs detailed, curved, floral and Victorian). Here too you want to think of the couple and your guests to decide which of your ideas will make a better impression.
• Send invites with time, address and an rsvp contact – part of the success of your Sheva Brachos is the crowd. Many people take a very informal approach to the invitees. If you take your guest list seriously, you’ll get instant improvement in the results. This will probably take extra effort, a number of extra phone calls. If your guests see that you’re taking this seriously, they will also treat it with more importance. Confirm attendees.
• Make a menu. Some of the things to consider are: Should the guests have something to munch on while they wait for the couple’s arrival? Try to come with at least some items on your menu that can be made in advance. Find out if any of your guests have any dietary needs or food allergies.
• Divide and Conquer. One person cannot do this all alone. So enlist help. Especially for the party itself – someone to dish out the food, someone to serve, and someone to clear the tables.
• Shopping List. Not just the food items. All the things you’ll need.
• Prep List. Write down not only the items on your menu but break it down into tasks. A little of extra planning early on saves a lot of stress later.
• Write a Running Order. You must have noticed that at a wedding the caterer manages to get everyone fed on time and one course flows to the other seamlessly? The reason is that they have a precise workflow. Each step is pre-planned and prepared at a designated time. This is called a “Running Order” or a “Work Flow” – a schedule of what needs to be done and when.
• The Program: The food is only part of the evening. Get creative with the entertainment. Speeches, divrei Torah should correspond to the overall feel of the evening. Suggest topics to your speakers. (Afterall, it’s your party.) Also, remember, everyone loves surprises. Find a way to surprise the new couple with something.
• Spic-n-Span. Polish all the cutlery. (Unless of course you’re using disposables) Check the glassware and wash and polish if need be.
  Do you have enough chairs? Probably not. Find a gemach or talk to the neighbors. If possible, renting is the way to go. Having matching chairs, even if they’re in lowest of price ranges maintains that put together feel.
• Test Drive. Set the table for a test, as you will on the day.
• Music and Lighting. What greets the eyes and ears of your guests is just as important as what goes into their stomachs. See if you can bring it all together.
• Tidy up
• Set the table in the morning of the event. Get this task out of the way early, so you’re ready for the guests when they arrive.

With proper planning, you should be able to stay on top of everything that needs to be done. You have it all on paper; there’s no need to stress, you’ll do great!

Skipping foundation

Although many people dislike the feel of a full face of makeup, an even base creates the perfect canvas for the rest of your color makeup. Heavy, cakey foundation is a thing of the past; with tinted moisturizers, sheer formulas and finely milled powders, you won’t even feel like you’re wearing makeup.

The key is to find the texture that is right for your skin type. If your skin is dry, try a sheer or moisturizing tint that you can actually use instead of your regular moisturizer.. Normal to oily skin types should stick with powder textures.

Concealer that is too light

If you have dark under-eye circles, the biggest mistake you can make is to choose the wrong color concealer. A good under-eye concealer should match the rest of your skin. Many people pick one that is too light to overcompensate for the darkness, which actually looks unnatural.

If you have blue or purple undertones under your eyes, choose a concealer that is peachy to counteract the darkness. Again, the under-eye area should be uniform in color with the rest of the skin, so avoid one that looks too white or light on the skin.

Wearing the wrong foundation color

Although you may be tempted to wear a foundation that is a little bit darker than your natural skin tone, the result can look mask-like. Think about it: If you wear a base that is too dark, the rest of your body will not match your face.

If you insist on adding a little bit of color to your face, choose a foundation that matches your natural skin tone exactly, and add warmth with a blush or bronzer. If you decide to use a bronzer, place the color on the cheeks, nose, chin and forehead to mimic a natural tan.

Not taking care of your skin

Many of us don’t have the time or energy to take proper care of our skin, but the results will eventually catch up to you. By starting a good skincare regimen, you will keep your skin healthy while preventing premature signs of aging. Use a moisturizer with an SPF daily to protect your skin from the sun’s damaging rays. In addition, many people with oily skin think they don’t need a moisturizer.

However, people of all skin types should regularly use some type of face lotion. If you have oily skin, choose one that is oil-free, like DDF Ultra-Lite Oil Free Moisturizing Dew ($35, macys.com) to help hydrate your skin without greasiness.

Limiting color choices based on “season”

It’s not what you wear, but how you wear it. Many women are under the impression that they are limited in their makeup choices due to their eye or hair color. This misconception is completely outdated and unnecessarily limits you. Makeup is made to make a person feel beautiful and confident. If you feel great in certain colors, then by all means, wear them. Makeup colors can be worn all year round.

So many women ask me, I had my colors done and I am a Winter (or Spring, Summer or Fall), so what colors can I wear? My answer to them is always Wear what you feel good in! Remember, its just makeup!

Not using makeup brushes. Would an artist ever begin painting without a palette and brushes? Probably not. While blending with your hands is convenient, it’s not always the best way to maximize the product you are applying. Certain products, like eye shadow and blush, are best applied with the right brushes.

By using the right tools, you’ll end up with a more polished and professional look, instead of looking like you finger-painted your face. After all, what’s the point of spending a lot of money on makeup if you don’t have the proper tools?.

Popping pimples

The occasional zit can be unsightly and annoying, but the last thing you want to do is try to pop it. Not only can this lead to scarring, but you also may spread bacteria, which can lead to a serious infection. Instead, try a topical treatment such as Mario Badescu Drying Lotion to get rid of that pimple in a heartbeat.

Overplucking brows

Eye brows play a very important role on the face. As a makeup artist, I find that many people have brows that are either overplucked or very light. Thin brows make your face look severe and outdated. Remember that growing them back is no easy task. If you’re unsure of how to shape your brows, leave it up to a professional. However, if you do end up taking out more than your expect, do remember to fill in any gaps with an eyebrow pencil or powder.

If you have very thin brows, a fine pencil is your best bet because you can draw them in. Try an Eye Brow pencil in a natural-looking color. For thicker brows, consider a powder to fill in any bald spots.

Overly contoured blush

Blush is meant to give the cheeks a natural flush. Many women apply a dark blush to the hollows of their cheeks in order to give the appearance of higher cheekbones. On a daily basis, this looks completely unnatural and actually ages you. Instead, choose a subtle color in rose, peach or bronze to bring out a healthy glow.

Apply the cheek color to the apples of the cheek (where your cheek muscle balls up when you smile) and blend outward towards the hairline. This method will give you a fresh, youthful glow, instead of a harsh, outdated line.

Debby Grossman is a professional Make-Up Artist and Beauty and Fashion Editor, specializing in bridal and fashion make-up. She is also a leader in Make-up Training. Courses teaching classic looks and the latest trends. For courses, lessons or booking wedding make-up Debby can be reached at 1-888-376-7610

1. “I am engaged to be wed to my wonderful fiancé who has taken me out of the land of Singledom” – Recite verse at least twice daily: morning and evening

The first and the primary commandment of wedding planning is to focus on the marriage more than the wedding. Your wedding is the birth of your marriage and your goal is to start your blissful marriage on the right foot. Your wedding should lift off your marriage and send it into an ever-growing spiral of love and happiness. So make sure to focus on your partner and your partner’s ideas during the wedding preparations.

2. You shall not have any other priorities above getting married

Life doesn’t stop because you decided to get married. However, you must put your efforts and concentration above all on getting married and setting up your new family. This is really huge, so do it right.

3. You shall not stress in vain

Do not get carried away and work yourself up over insignificant little things. Attention to detail is important but attention to your well-being is even more important.

4. You must take an occasional rest

Take a break every now and then from working on putting together the most perfect wedding and do something completely unrelated, fun, and relaxing. Go out with your fiancé and do not discuss wedding planning issues.

5. Honor your future father-in-law and mother-in-law

Parents (both sets) play a huge role in your wedding and your marriage. Honor their concerns and listen to their advice with patience and respect. Watch the way you verbalize your opinions so that your words don’t entirely disregard someone else’s point of view.

6. Do not kill your wedding planner

If you can afford it, hire a wedding coordinator to help you stay on top of the wedding planning process. A wedding planner may not be as expensive as you think and may save you a few dollars on some of your wedding purchases, thus partially paying for itself. An experienced planner will make sure that your event is well coordinated and that the many design elements of your wedding don’t clash with each other.

7.Do not steal from your self, your fiancé, and your family

Do not spend on your wedding more than you can afford. At the start of wedding planning ask around regarding the cost of things you’ll need for your wedding and make a budget based on your financial abilities.

8. Do not commit frugality

Even though overspending is a grave sin, underspending is a sin as well. You might save a hundred bucks here and there, but the memories will stay with you forever. When you cut corners, you usually end up paying for them with mounds of additional frustration. When it comes to your photography and video remember: they remain with you for years to come and will bring to life wonderful memories of the day your marriage was born.

9. Do not bear false wedding

It’s not advisable to imitate celebrity weddings. Do not try to make your affair over-the-top and unnaturally glamorous. Your wedding is about you. When it comes to the bride’s make-up, stay true to tried techniques. Radical and edgy techniques more often than not end up looking ridiculous. Same goes for attire and other décor.

10. You shall not covet what others had at their wedding

Your wedding will always be unique because it will bring together your unique circle of friends and family. So when it comes down to it forget about what you may have seen somewhere else and let yourself fully enjoy the moment; bring joy to yourself and to your new spouse.

Why does a Bride need a Bouquet?

Perhaps a you find this to be a strange question. After all the bridal bouquet is as common at a wedding as the white wedding gown. (Which brings us to another question: why should the wedding dress be white? But that would have to wait for another time.) However, it wasn’t always so that a bride was clutching onto a floral arrangement. As far back as weddings go, however, bridal hands were holding some sort of an object. In a Jewish wedding, brides used to hold a candle; a role reserved now for the parents. The modern history of the wedding bouquet begins with Queen Victoria and her posy at her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840.

In Victorian times, flowers were also assigned symbolic meanings, and were selected for the bouquet not merely by the merits of their aesthetics. Thankfully, we don’t have to contemplate our flowers beyond their outer appearance.  When choosing your bouquet you’ll need to consider the shape and the flowers of your choice, as well as how it would look in conjunction with the style of your wedding gown and your wedding portraits.

The Posy

images: MarthaStewart.com

The posy is a small, circular cluster of flowers that probably is the most common shape of the bridal bouquet. The posy is fashioned in two ways: ‘Hand-tied’ and ‘Fully wired’.

Hand-Tied

Also know as ‘natural stems’, hand tied posies are made showing the natural stems of the flowers that are tied tightly together. When holding such a bouquet, the bride holds on to the stems of the flowers. The stems can also be wrapped in tulle, velvet trim or pinned with pearl-pins. Hand-tied and wrapped bouquets are the current trend.

Wired

A wired posy has its flowers fastened by florists’ wire and neatly placed into a plastic, easy to hold handle. When using roses, it is more common to have them wired. The wired bouquet gives a more polished symmetrical look. Biedermeier is a variation of the wired bouquet, where the flowers are arranged in circular rows of flowers – each row with its own color.

Cascade Bouquet

There are a few variations of the cascade bouquet, also known as a shower bouquet. All these bouquets have the flowers flow out beyond the main portion of the bouquet. Sometimes the cascade will take the form of a teardrop – the bottom of the bouquet will come to a point, and sometimes of a waterfall – the width of the bottom not much smaller than at the top. The flowing cascade bouquets are very elegant and feminine and work well with a vintage looking wedding gown. A note of warning: the cascade when done right can look glamorous without looking overdone. However, often times it becomes large and overstuffed. Browse online or through magazines to get better acqainted with the multiple variations of the cascade.

Final Note

In general, when selecting your bridal bouquet, bring your florist cut-outs and print-outs of what you find striking. Almost any florist can reproduce a bouquet based on its picture. Attention to detail and subtle taste, however, will usually be found at a more upscale floral shop – the price will reflect the quality accordingly.

You probably pictured your dream wedding gown long before your engagement, perhaps even before you started dating. Nevertheless, it is wise to consider the words of the experts before you finalize on your purchase. The experts agree that a bride looks best when she’s expressing herself and her unique sense of style. They also encourage brides to opt for a gown that is well fitted, flattering to her figure and consistent with current trends. From ready to wear to Haute Couture, the modern bride has more choices than ever before. The variety of fabulous fabrics, gorgeous ornaments and embellishments as well as alluring accessories permit today’s bride to create a truly breathtaking look. Even if you are completely settled on the look of your wedding gown, keep an open mind, do some research, and listen to advice, but in the end choose only what makes you happy.

Dress Styles

Before you begin the hunt for your dress, take a moment to review the basics. There are four basic wedding gown types, each one with its own merits; each silhouette compliments a different body shape.

1. Ball Gown – this is the fairytale bridal look, fitted in the bodice with a flairing, full skirt. This classic gown compliments most body shapes. A recent trend is to elaborate the back of the gown’s skirt with gathered material and ornate bows.
2. Straight Gown – this sleek and chic look is the “anti-ball gown” and is usually reserved for the hip, modern bride with a tall and slim figure. Choose this gown shape if you want to evoke a self-confident image with a contemporary feel.
3. A-line/Princess Gown – very similar to the ball gown, with skirt not quite as full. A variation on the A-line gown is the Empire Style gown. This gown features a high waistline just below the chest that flows into a long A-shaped skirt. This style is ‘forgiving’ on figure flaws, slimming and elongating the body.
4. Mermaid Gown – this style has gained widespread popularity of late; it is very form fitting tapering narrowly to the floor. The skirt in this gown flairs from the knee into a full circle and often features a train.

Dress Color

Even if you are set on having a white wedding gown, not every shade of white will be right for you. There are various shades of white and off white even ivory; some shades of white may match better with your skin tone. Here again an advice of a wedding professional may come in handy.

Dress Details

Highly detailed dresses continue to dazzle the world of wedding fashion. Some of the hottest trends include detailed embroidery as well as stylized ruffled and asymmetrical treatments. Some designers have been using touches of contrast in their gown designs, like black trim around the neckline as well as colored waist sashes and other bold accents. Sashes and bows around the waist have been seen on the dresses of many designers.

The Skirt

The skirt, in general, tends to be more detailed, especially in the back, and asymmetrically ruffled. A skirt may be split and also contain tulle or crinkled organza in combination with silks and satins as seen on some Vera Wang designs. Gentle bowties may be scattered to adorn a light airy skirt. Beading and embroidery, however, are quite popular with many designers and these are usually attached to stronger and sleeker materials.

Wedding trends come and go, and even though brides always want to be on top of the latest, usually it’s important to keep your personal style and sense of self in mind, and in the end go with the gown that makes you feel you.

Sleep

Wedding day begins with a good night’s rest. Many brides wake up the night before their wedding with the realization that some things, like place-cards or some other arrangements, still haven’t been done. If you don’t get a restful sleep the night before your wedding, your photographer will not be pleased. So plan ahead and make sure that you are well rested for the big day.

Relax

You’ve been planning for this day for a very long time. Now that the event has begun -(official starting time is when the photographer gets there), all you need to focus on is on the sanctity of a Jewish wedding and your happiness and bliss. Natural smiles make for the best pictures. Logistics, seating arrangements, financial decisions should be handed over to someone other than the bride or the groom. You, as every bride, want everything to be just perfect, but then you run the risk of missing out on this greatest moment. Your wedding’s here – it’s time to let go.

Marriage starts here

Your marriage is in progress from the moment the wedding band hugs your finger. The wedding ceremony and the reception is for you and your partner, so take the time to focus on your partner and his or her happiness; let your new spouse know how happy you are at this moment.  Start your marriage off on the right foot by being attentive to your partner.

White

Jewish wedding ceremony calls for wine.  It is advisable to use white wine for this, unless of course you have a red wedding gown.  Otherwise better play it safe: white wine will not stain the wedding gown.

Comfort

Looks are important but comfort is imperative. Your Cinderella gown does not need crystal shoes to match. You plan to be dancing right? Make sure you pack a pair of comfy backup shoes so you can keep up with your guests on the dance floor.

The wedding flowers set the tone of your ceremony and reception and add freshness to the festivities. Flower arrangements make up a big part of the décor, and of the wedding budget as well.

The flower arrangements you choose for your wedding is one of the most important decisions that you need to make in your wedding plans, and it can be a daunting task. The key is finding a fantastic florist who is experienced in weddings, understands your style and is reliable. But even before you consult your florist, you should first decide on a few general things regarding your wedding flowers. Smart wedding planning can achieve fabulous results without going over the top and without overstretching your budget.

Color Palette

Think about the color palette of your wedding. What are the basic colors and shapes of the wedding hall that you have selected? Is the venue bare, or decorated? Choosing a color scheme will help narrow down the choices for your flower arrangements. Color coordination centralizes and unites the overall look of your affair, where as mismatched elements in an event leave an unpleasant impression no matter how beautiful each piece may be. It may be a good idea to color-coordinate all of the ingredients of your affair starting with your wedding invitations. Thus when deciding on a color scheme, keep in mind all of the other items that will likely be affected by your choice. Hues that are brighter and bolder have recently become the trend; a step away from the pastel colors that were the trend last year.

Logistics

Make a list of the number of arrangements you will need, starting with the ceremony. Will you have arrangements on the stage by the Kallah’s chair? How many flower arrangements will be decorating the aisles by the Chuppah? Will your family members need corsages and boutonnieres?

Flowers also play a major role in your wedding photographs. Consult your photographer on what he or she needs to be there for the wedding portraits. Then move on to the reception. How many centerpieces will you need? Your florist, however, should be able assign multiple uses for some of the flower arrangements – i.e. the same arrangements that decorate the aisle will be used for the centerpieces as well.

For Every Time and Every Season

Wedding day flowers are meant to be a part of the overall look of the day, to frame your photos and to accent the setting. They should add to the overall festivities but not steal the scene from the bride or distract from the big picture. Be sure not to go over the top. Be creative and use what the season has to offer. Keep this in mind and you will make tasteful choices that will not only stretch your budget, but guarantee beautiful wedding flowers you’ll love and admire years to come.

Setting the wedding date was a challenge all to itself, and now that the date is set all those things that have to be taken care of by this date are now taking form in your mind and possibly raising your heart rate. From this time until the wedding day you’ll probably have little time for reading. However, we would recommend that you endeavor to give yourself some time to read a book on or a guide to a Jewish wedding. These books will help you shape a clearer and more insightful idea of your Jewish wedding and your Jewish marriage. Here’s a list of books we like:

Made in Heaven – Rabbi Arieh Kaplan. Moznaim.

Although Rabbi Arieh Kaplan is well known for books that elucidate Judaic concepts to non-observant Jews, this particular book is sure to find an interest of all readers. The book explains all elements of the Jewish wedding in a clear language with footnotes that are rich with sources from all corners of Jewish literature.

$22 at Amazon: Made in Heaven: A Jewish Wedding Guide

Dear Kallah – Malka Kaganoff, Feldheim.

Advice for brides-to-be and newlyweds, culled from the teachings of our Sages, and Torah literature, as well as the author’s extensive experience as a Rebbetzin and teacher.

$5.98 at Amazon: Dear Kallah

Head to Heart – Gila Manolson, Targum Press.

All too often, we prepare more for a tough test than we do for our marriages. Here is an insightful, frank, and sensible manual that looks at dating, love, and marriage from the Torah perspective and comes up with some surprising, and important, conclusions.
Head to Heart

Reading for the Groom:

River, the Kettle, and the Bird – Rabbi Aharon Feldman, Feldheim.

Perceptive yet sympathetic, scholarly yet practical, profound yet human, these are some of the adjectives that describe this concise, warm and searching discussion of one of the eternal puzzles facing human beings: how to achieve Shalom Bayis, a serene, happy relationship between husband and wife. This is a guide not only for marriage but for joyous living in general.

River, the Kettle and the Bird: A Torah Guide to a Successful Marriage

The glow of a great relationship…

It could be yours! It should be yours!

Mazal Tov dear

Mazal Tov dear Choson and Kallah!

Hopefully your engagement is moving along smoothly as you prepare for your life together as husband and wife.

Sometimes, more often than we realize, there are issues that arise. It is not unusual for differences between you to surface either during the engagement, shortly after the wedding or during Shanah Rishonah. After all, you both came from different families with different expectations and different rules.

So how do you keep and enhance the glow of your partnership. The key is in the word “partnership”. A marriage is created by two individuals who learn to be best friends. Best friends develop trust, respect each other, learn about each other, and cultivate a communication that brings them closer and closer.

What are some suggestions for navigating the engagement and first year of marriage.

1. Listen more than you talk
2. Build each others’ self-esteem with honest praise, compliments and appreciations
3. Offer 5 compliments for every criticism
4. If you make a mistake in the relationship, acknowledge it and correct it
5. Recognize issues when they arise and work as a team to discuss them without blaming each other
6. This is just a taste of the potential of the marriage you can co-create. Whether it is problems of communication, religious observance, money, in-laws, post-partum depression or other emotional issues- if you honor your partner, you can be the smiling couple to whom we say Mazel Tov.

By Tina Kahn

The Right Regimen

Did you ever feel like you need to wash your face twice before your skin feels clean? How about the time you cleansed with a product that made your skin feel tight or flaky? When that happens, you’re using the wrong product or regiment for your skin type. But how do I know what’s right for me?

With the onset of winter, your skin can really get abused due to the harsh cold weather conditions. Knowing how to pamper and protect your skin properly can be invaluable. I find that women know more about make-up than taking care of their skin. Most women are misinformed or know very little about basic skin care. I always say, Your make-up can only look as good as your skin which is under it. Therefore, knowing how to make your skin look its very best is just as important as beautiful make-up.

There are so many different manufacturers pushing so many kinds of creams and regiments. Knowing which one is right for your skin can be very confusing. Questions abound, like, what should I cleanse with? Do I need Toner? Should I use an Alpha Hydroxyl Acid? These are some of the many questions make-up artists like myself have to answer on a regular basis, when preparing a client for a wedding or special event.

4 beauty myths

Here’s a list of misconceptions people have about their skin, and some real answers!

Myth: My skin needs to breathe

Fact: Yes, it’s nice to take a break from your make-up routine. Women have that attitude especially in the summer. But not because make-up suffocates the skin. If that were true, we would be getting quite sick wearing make-up. It is true that certain make-up’s and heavy creams can irritate or clog your pores. That is why a correct skin care regiment is so important.

Myth: Oily skin should be dried out

Fact: When teenagers spot pimples coming on, the first thing they do is scrub, cleanse, squeeze, and poke to try to make them disappear faster. So what’s a mother to do? Educate your teens. Just because your skin is oily, removing every trace of oil will only aggravate your complexion more. Having created a dehydrated condition, your skin may begin to over produce more oils to compensate for the over zealous cleansing and dryness. Oils trapped underneath become infected, causing pimples. We put moisture on the skin to help it stay supple on the outside, as it receives oil and water from the inside. Remember, after cleansing, your skin should never feel tight, dry, or burn. Hint: For oily skin use an oil-free moisturizer. For normal to dry skin, use a moisturizing one.

Myth: Sun is a great source of vitamin d

Fact: In the l950’s, doctors advised their patients to place children in the sun as a great source of vitamin D. As we all know today, prolonged sun isn’t healthy. Tanning in the sun is like burning a slice of toast. It’s bad for you. Get into the habit of wearing sunscreen all year round. Make sure it has both UVA and UVB protection with an SPF of 15 to 45. All doctors admit that one of the main causes of wrinkles and sun spots is exposure to the sun. Wouldn’t you rather be safe than sorry?

Myth: Blue eyes should wear blue eyeshadow

Fact: Imagine putting a ruby into a red velvet box, what happens to the ruby? It disappears, and becomes less noticeable. The same applies to eye shadow. Contrast your eye color with a complimentary shadow, not the same color.

To get your skin back into a healthy state, here are a few simple changes to help you get great results.

1. Never go to sleep with make-up on. Make-up settles into your pores and causes breakouts.
2. Choose a gentle cleanser that takes off all your make-up. “Gentle” means that it doesn’t burn or sting, and doesn’t make your face feel taut or dry after rinsing.
3. Moisturize where and when you need to. Listen to your face. Don’t over moisturize areas that are not dry. On the overly dry areas use a little extra hydration.
4. Masks are a great way to pamper your skin, and work wonders before an important event. They can be a wonderful, soothing part of your skin care routine. You can find masks made for every skin type. Oily skin should try gel masks. If your skin is normal to dry, use amask that is moisturizing. Your skin will glow and feel soft for hours. So there you have it- the myths and facts about great skin care, revealed.

Don’t forget, it’s up to you to take proper care of your skin. You’ll be glad you did.

Debby Grossman is a professional Make-Up Artist and Beauty and Fashion Editor, specializing in bridal and fashion make-up. She is also a leader in Make-up Training. Courses teaching classic looks and the latest trends. For courses, lessons or booking wedding make-up Debby can be reached at 1-888-376-7610

Are Your Genes Compatible?

Choosing whom to marry is, of course, a huge decision. The perfect candidate needs to meet many requirements – have a great personality, sharp wit, good looks, and a great-grandfather who’ll bequeath a fortune. Well… may be not the last one. A very important requirement is one that many people take seriously – being able to have healthy children. That’s why many Ashkenazi Jews choose to get tested for genetic diseases, such as Tay-Sachs.

Tay – Sachs disease is a sickness during which a newly born baby develops normally for about the first six months. But afterwards, the baby’s central nervous system – the brain and the spinal cord – begin to deteriorate. Eventually, the child cannot hear, see, or swallow. By the age of around four, the child is paralyzed and dies.

What is Tay-Sachs?

Tay-Sachs happens because children with the disease have a problem in their genetic information. Genetic information is stored in DNA, a spiral-like biological molecule inside every cell in a person’s body. The information gives instructions that the body needs – including the person’s height, weight, eye color, and even artistic and athletic talents. However, sometimes the DNA spiral can have mutations – changes – in its rungs. Such changes can corrupt the genetic instructions, making the body carry out harmful actions. In the case of Tay-Sachs, the mutation in the genetic instructions makes the body produce less of a certain substance (an enzyme called hexosaminidase A) needed to break down unnecessary molecules (the fatty acid derivative known as ganglioside). As a result, the molecules accumulate in the brain and prevent the brain from developing and functioning normally.

One Parent Carrier

There is no cure for Tay-Sachs, but luckily, genetic screening can prevent it. That’s because in order to get Tay-Sachs, a baby has to inherit it from his (or her) parents. All the traits that children have they inherit from their parents, who pass down the traits in the form of genetic information. Each child gets two sets of information – one from the mother and one from the father. The reason why kids are so different from their parents (and from their siblings) is because the two sets have a myriad ways of mixing with each other to produce many different combinations. In addition, some genetic information might remain hidden in the parents but comes out in the children. This happens because some information is “stronger” – more dominant – than other. For example, brown eye color is “stronger” than blue, and it wins. So, if one parent has brown eyes, and the other has blue, the child is likely to have brown eyes. However, if both parents have blue eyes, there’s no “strong” eye color to battle with the weaker blue eye color, and blue eye color wins. So, children whose parents both have blue eyes will almost certainly have blue eyes. But even a child of a brown-eyed and blue-eyed parent still has a chance. That’s because he (or she) inherits the blue-eye information from the blue-eyed parent, but this information stays hidden. If he (or she) marries someone with blue eyes – or even someone with brown eyes who has blue-eyed hidden information – this hidden genetic information might be passed down to his (or her) kids and mix with the genetic information of the spouse in such a way that will make his kids have blue eyes.

Getting dizzy with all the eye color? The important thing to know is that genetic information that tells a body to have Tay-Sachs is of the weak kind, like for blue eyes. This means that even if a person inherits such hidden information, he still has pretty good chances of being healthy. In order for him to actually have Tay-Sachs, he would have to inherit the information from both parents. If he inherits it only from one parent, he’ll be healthy, but he will still have the information hidden inside him, which is called being a carrier. If he marries another carrier, they have a 25% chance of having children with Tay-Sachs. That’s one out of four children dying before age five. So, what are your chances of being a carrier, and can you find out for sure whether you are one? One in 25 Ashkenazi Jews is estimated to be a carrier. Other Diseases Tay-Sachs is not the only disease that is unusually prevalent among Ashkenazi Jews. Other diseases that are inherited similarly and bear similar odds include Canavan Disease and Familial Dysautonomia. These diseases too affect the nervous system. Still other prevalent genetic diseases can cause mental retardation and predispose children towards leukemia. That’s why it’s so important to get tested.

Testing through Jewish Organizations

You can find out whether you are a carrier through a simple blood test. However, if you’ll turn out to be a carrier, no doubt you will worry – but why do that if your chances of meeting another carrier are just one in 25? A less stressful alternative is to take the test through an organization like Dor Yeshorim, which does not reveal to you the results of the test. When you think you’re getting serious about marrying someone, encourage him (or her) to take the test through the same organization (if he didn’t do so already), and the organization will then tell you whether you are a good match. Chances are you will be – after all, the chance that you are both carriers is one in 625! Despite the good odds, the test is still important since it prevents unnecessary suffering and tragedy. In fact, in 2003, there were no Jewish babies born with Tay-Sachs in North America and in Israel there was only one baby. So, take control of your future and good luck!

Sources:

• Tay-Sachs disease
• Ashkenazi Jewish Genetic Diseases

Being organized and staying focused is definitely the key in remaining calm during the few short months of your engagement. Your gown is beautiful, your hair will be perfect, but what about your makeup? One thing is for sure, you know on your wedding day you want to look and feel your absolute best. Here are some helpful beauty tips to help make your wedding day hassle free.

Your wedding make-up should enhance your features so you look like yourself, only more radiant and beautiful. Stay away from anything trendy or complicated. Fresh, pretty make-up with a natural warmth, has a timeless appeal at the wedding and in your photos for generations to come. For the bride that loves to wear make-up and needs reassurance, consider scheduling a trial with a professional make-up artist well ahead of time. Your make-up artist and you will discuss how to best enhance your features, as well as how to help your skin look great on your special day.

Skin care:

Don’t try any new skin regiments right before your wedding. If you’ve never tried a facial, or waxing, Don’t try them right before your wedding. Keep in mind that facials, and electrolysis and waxings should be done at least two week in advance in order to avoid temporary acne and unnecessary mishaps, which takes time to clear up. The best make-up starts with good skin. Getting your skin into a good regiment is important. Remember, your make-up can only look as good as your skin under it. Begin with cleansing your face every night with a gentle cleanser. And never go to sleep with make-up. If your skin is overly dry and flaky or extremely oily, now is the time to tackle the problem. It’s a good idea meet with a dermatologist well before your wedding day. You’ll be glad you did!

Quick fixes for the bride:

• Emergency crying tips: Brighten red eyes with an off-white eyeliner on the inside of the bottom lid
• Puffy eyes from lack of sleep: A cold compress, using either a tea bag, cucumber, or potato slices, are all very good for reducing puffiness
• You over tweezed your eyebrows: Many girls have a tendency of wearing their eyebrows too thin. Keep in mind that thin eyebrows can be harsh looking, and are not today’s look. After prolonged over-tweezing, you will have a very hard time growing them in. So beware! If over done, have them filled in with eyebrow powder. Using small light-handed strokes will achieve a most natural effect

Helpful hints for wedding make-up:

• Brows frame the face so make sure they are defined if need be.
• Having your eyes and face lightly contoured adds a nice dimension to your face and photos.
• Powder helps your make-up stay on, and keeps your face looking matte in photography as well.
• Waterproof mascara is a must to prevent smudging if you would get teary.
• For lips – make sure they are not dry. Apply lip balm for a few days before your wedding day. There is nothing worse then a pretty lipstick on chapped lips. Stay away from brown tone lipsticks. They can make you look washed out when wearing white. Most of all, staying calm is important in order to enjoy planning the wedding and everything that goes along with it. May you always be a source of joy to all your friends and family!!

Best wishes,

Debby.

Debby Grossman is a professional Make-Up Artist and Beauty and Fashion Editor, specializing in bridal and fashion make-up. She is also a leader in Make-up Training. Courses teaching classic looks and the latest trends. For courses, lessons or booking wedding make-up Debby can be reached at 1-888-376-7610